theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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