I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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