Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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