You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I love you. Go after that dick
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
