I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize