Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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