you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you traded sex for a burrito?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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