she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
