I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
