it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
