Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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