dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
