I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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