his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
