come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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