I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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