he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
