Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
