i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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