69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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