i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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