pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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