They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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