Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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