My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
