If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
