im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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