We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
