I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
