Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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