I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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