She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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