I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
