How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
