Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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