You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
