Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
