you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
