Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
