I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
