the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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