he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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