im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
