yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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