Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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