i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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