I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
