Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My ATM looks so different sober.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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