After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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