Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
