I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
